We bought a car

yes, I am quite happy to announce that as soon as we can sell the truck we will be done with it.  We bought a 1992 Honda Accord...yes its very old, but it has relatively low miles and was only $1400.  We are hoping that sometimes in the not so far away future we can use those extra seats (but we don't know really how close or far away that may be)...

Anyway, the painting is not shiny and the stereo does not work at all, but it runs well (Paul had it all checked out) and gets better gas mileage than we were getting.

now hopefully someone buys the truck!

Painting complete

whether I like it or not, I gave Kaylie her painting at the open house on Tuesday Night...it was still wet because I had forgotten that I needed to finish a few things up before I gave it to her.  It was not everything I had hoped for...but it was good enough and I hope she likes it.  We are excited to go to Orlando tomorrow for her sealing :)

my first night shift

I thought it would be calm...its night right patient's sleep and just have to answer call lights.

I was wrong.

There was not one second of down time, and you have to feel for the patients as well, who get there room entered into all the time.

My whole body aches

The good thing is that I came home and I got to sleep for 8 hours after that.

Until next week night shift, now I have to study!

We are now in the thick of finals...but it has not been so bad yet.
Paul and I went to the gym together, it was so nice, I need to work out more often and being there with Paul was nice and even nicer that we went at night, I love going places in the middle of the night or just later like this was around 10...its just more fun for me.

also this song has been stuck in my head recently...dont ask why,  I also dont know

what what what???

Yes that is right they are changing our clinical groups.  I know in the vast perspective of life and death and life after death this basically is not important at all, but ti certainly has a lot of feathers ruffled in our program, so I would like to write this in memory of Orange 1 that will no longer exist after finals.

My new clinical group, is not the worst or the best, so I will just keep my mouth shut, furthermore we will be staying at the hospital the closest to our apt., so yeah...i am not saying anything, and then there is that scholarship money that has motivated me to not complain about ANYTHING anymore.

So....moment of silence, and I will work on getting a picture of our beloved clinical group.

We took blood pressures at homeless shelters, and sr meal sites together,
We made up poems to appease our professors,
We shared passwords for certain nursing resources,
We vented often, sometimes about each other,
some were closer than others,
We will still have class together
We decorated cupcakes to look like a family,
We survived the first two semesters of clinicals...and I have even seen a few of them cry...
goodbye orange 1

at least I have one companion that the dean of the nursing school can't split me up from :)

I am awake at 2 am and I don't want to be I have to finish a paper that I have been avoiding, actually I am still avoiding it...this semester is taking FOREVER to be over.

I can't wait until Paul is done,  he has been busy non-stop since last Christmas break and it will be so nice to take things a  little bit slower.

Despite all of that I was thinking about how grateful I am that I have a job right now, I only work once a week, but it can make such a huge difference.  And it was truly a blessing.

Another blessing that recently came my way was 4,800 in scholarship money, yeah that is a big one, and it is definitely making me more and more grateful to be here at University of Florida, in fact I really can't think of anywhere that would be/could be better, again proving the point that Heavenly Father knows me better than I know myself because this is the LAST place I wanted to come.

Looking at all the other places that Paul could have gone, I am so overwhelmingly grateful that this is where we are for school.

So sigh...back to that paper, and quiz and studying and why did I waste my whole day so I don't get to sleep!!!!

getting my style identity back

When I first moved to florida last year I was going through a lot of changes, in some ways i lost my identity I was taking prereqs at a community college, i didn't know where I was, i had just moved, I had just gotten married, even my name changed.

 I sort of lost any sort of style that I had (except for sundays when I wore nicer clothes) i dressed like everyone here, yoga pants and workout clothes, well with the fall weather, I sort remember who I was (well I know the big picture of who I am but...)  I remembered that uhh I dont wear work out clothes...and oh yeah I like to dress up, and I am not that bad at it either (although I have not bought any clothes in a loooong time) so I am working with what I have already.

Anyway, making that dress last week was so good for me and after over a year of all these changes I am finally feeling comfortable with who and where I am, I am grateful to be that person as well :)

this one has been stuck in my head for days

while I am taking practice HESI exams...not sure why

snap of a finger

Sometimes, you need something and it just appears with the snap of you fingers, or at least it seems as though that is what happens.

For example in Florida it is not that cold, but recently it has started freezing at night, I was cold, we don't have many blankets...so I started using all the towels that we had, and they are pretty thick so we were warm enough.  Plus Paul wears all the pajama pants he has at one time.

We keep the windows open so that could have contributed as well.

I was talking about it with someone at school, and they said to go check out down comforters as that would certainly keep us warm.  When I was at bed bath and beyond I looked, but the comforters were VERY expensive, and even though we have gift cards still that could cover it, the winter is so short here that I really did not want to spend a huge chunk of gift card money for something we would use for just a few months.

Anyway, so then I was joking about it with someone at church and someone over heard us, and have us a LARGE (huge) down comforter.  I guess someone gave it to them and they never once used it...we LOVE it.  And truly it sort of felt like I just vocalized what I needed and it appeared, so much to be grateful for!

Now this week the weather is in the 70s again, and windy, and PERFECT! still enjoying that comforter!

 (not done but getting there)

spanish moss I love you!

dress I made!

Also I made a dress and I am in the middle of painting...more on that to come!

Tomorrow will mean my fourth Thanksgiving away from family, and even though I know there are much worse things going on in the world than me being absent continually from my family, it certainly makes me remember how much I love my parents and siblings.

I wish I could express specific things I am Thankful for in each of them, but basically I am Thankful for my entire life with them.

I am grateful for my Dad's optimism that he keeps trying and even when it seems impossible to anyone else.
I am grateful for my Mother's dedication to her children and that she always put us first
I am grateful for Sterlings willingness to always share and look out for an include his young siblings
I am grateful Korance always being my friend and someone I can relate to
I am grateful for Ross's honesty, and the fun he brings
I am grateful for Marae's toughness...and that she can tell me when I need a little bit more of it
I am grateful for Janai's gratitude and willingness to express it

Because I am far away from them, I worry and pray often for my family, I hope they are ok, I hope they are making good decisions, I wish I could be near them.

These are pictures of when my parents came and picked me up from my mission, I am so grateful they came and for the time I got to spend with them

unfortunately I don't even have a picture of ross :(

my emerging american identity

I was listening to NPR today, I know listening to NPR again...the elections over...
anyway they were interviewing country singer and played a few snips of their music

I have never been a big fan of country music, but it was nice.

It let me to think about how my perspective of this country has changed in that last few years.

When I was in high school, I wanted to be anything but American.  This was just when the obesity epidemic was emerging and I was embarrassed.  Everything foreign looked appealing and better looking.  Perhaps because of my own insecurities with who I was, I sort of shunned my national identity and clung the the European identity of my ancestors (ahem majored in history with an emphasis on Europe).

But the truth is that I am American, I can't really identify with any other country or nationality. I was born here, my parents were, and so were my grandparents...and some of my great grandparents (although not all)....and some of my ancestors go all the way back to before the Revolutionary War.  You don't need to have ancestors from the US to be american, but in my case I do have that background, and as I become an adult and become secure in who I am I am also accepting that I can love where I am from and I don't have to fight my identity to be different.

Not to say I would not jump at the opportunity to live abroad again, but living abroad actually seems to reinforce to me my national identity...and its a good thing...
now for some patsy cline (I am NOT a texan FYI)

coming home from my mission...back to america

be prepared!

provident living -living with the future in mind

That was the focus of church yesterday, even though we do that already, sometimes almost to a fault it reminded me that there are some holes in our preparation that need to be fixed.

So this month we are going to work on getting a more comprehensive food storage together, and organizing it.

We are buying an extra can each time we go to the grocery store, and putting together a 72 hour kit as well.  I also have been thinking maybe for Christmas we should buy a pump water filter, I have not done any research on it yet, but in an emergency in Florida we will likely always be near water (we live just a few hundred yards from Lake Alice, but that water would NOT be suitable to drink, so if we had a pump filter that could be helpful.

We already have 2 -20 lbs bags of rice that we cook with one brown one white, a 20 lbs bag of pinto beans, and last year we bought a 50 lbs bag of oats...we probably have about half of that left....so if the gas was on we could probably survive for awhile, but if not we need to think about how we could cook what we have....I guess that is why we are stocking up on cans.

I try and clean/organize one thing in our house each day...so today I went through the cans we have and organized them by year of expiration that way we know what we have and we know how long it will last.   I will take a picture tomorrow because I am pretty proud of my efforts.

Another thing we have is plants, since we live in a small apartment we have our plants in buckets, but they do actually result in significant extra nutrients to our diets...and their seeds could be useful too.

There is a lot of uncertainty in the world today (and always), thinking about the future and planning for it does not mean it will work out as planned, but I believe that it will be helpful and is important.  Of course another part of provident living for us is going to school, it is giving us important skills that will allow us to work in increasingly competitive markets, and hopefully by me being a nurse if Paul is for some reason not able to work I will be able to.  Emergencies always happen, and we can do a little now to hopefully make a difference later.


....and who know something like this could happen as well

thankful

I was going to write about how thankful I am for my family, and of course it is true, despite the fact that  I am far away from them and I have not seen them for quite some time, I can think of very few things on my list that would rank as high as family.  However maybe I will post about that another time.
Today I am grateful for the Sabbath Day.

Paul works/studies hard all week, I study as well, but he is much better than I am about it.  He is stressed out of his mind right now as finals are coming up and understandably so.  We don't get a lot of time together to just, well, be together, so Sunday Paul makes the sacrifice to not study and set aside the day.  Although Sunday is set aside, it is always a busy day.  We have lessons to prepare, church, getting ready for church, recently baptisms after church, meetings, missionaries, family calls, preparing for the week, home teaching, and often socializing.  By the time all this happens there is rarely any time leftover, to re-group and prepare for the next week.

Yesterday both Paul and I were feeling the strain, and decided to try and do something to calm us down, and relax.  It was so nice, I can relax on my own, but its so much more fun when Paul is around.  Even though we stayed up later than intended so we are both tired today, I do feel mentally refreshed and renewed.  What a wonderful opportunity to do that. I hope we can do this more often.

I know that while I am feeling renewed Paul is feeling overwhelmed, I generally do not help this, and forget all of the ways that he uses his time to help me.  So I am going to try and eliminate those for these next few weeks and try to help him instead of vice versa to hopefully show him how Thankful I am for all of his help.

Its a goal, we will see how it goes.

Its almost thanksgiving

and I have many things to be grateful for so until Thanksgiving I am going to be writing about that...its not novel, but it is important!

So to start off with....

"for health and strength and daily food"

Health, I write about health all the time on here, but I AM IN NURSING SCHOOL, its all I think about.  In Labor and Delivery Clinicals we got to do 2 newborn assessments, and it truly is a miracle to see those tiny newborn babies.  It is a miracle that everything is correct that all that genetic code lined up (I am taking genetics right now) and that all the mechanisms that required that baby to make it here worked correctly.  It is a miracle that I am here with no health issues, that I have been blessed to avoid serious harm or incident thus far in my life.  You never really know how healthy you are until you see all the things that could have gone wrong (or just some of them).  If I started a list, it could go on forever, but just some things to think about.
I am grateful that my body properly absorbs nutrition
I am grateful that my limbs were formed so that I could use them with ease
I am grateful that all my senses and cranial nerves are in tact
I am grateful for lungs and arteries that bring oxygen to all the necessary capillary beds (even my freezing feet)
I am grateful for a heart that beats regularly
and neurons, hormones, muscle fibers, bones, bone marrow, tumor killing cells (we are talking about cancer is genetics this week) and the list could really go on.

When I was in high school, I had all sorts of body image issues, and I complained about my body over and over.  I WAS CRAZY!  A body is such a precious and beautiful part of us, so complex, that it constantly leaves me in awe that we are truly Gods creations.

if you want to live where it rains

then you should move to Florida!

The rainy season is supposed to have passed, but alas it is pouring outside.
That is fine with me.

Except for it is very hard to dry your laundry outside.

Paul and I go to institute every week and this week was no exception, we just got back about an hour ago. I always feel like it is a chore to go (he must also because we are late every week) but, when we arrive neither wants to leave because it is so uplifting....and fun.  Since there are not a whole lot of LDS students at University of Florida they are more than happy to have us at institute despite the fact that we are married.

Other than that we are just gearing up for the last push until finals and then sweet freedom for a few weeks... there is not much more to say than that, my feet are pretty cold right now.

Today I work

from 3 to 11 at the hospital, did I mention I got a job.

Its homecoming at UF.  I feel like in any other place that would be not a big deal.  But in Gainesville all public schools got friday off for homecoming ...high, middle and elementary! even the community college in town got the day off.  There were parades, the town is swamped with alumni, there were fireworks last night.

We didn't actually see or participate in any of it, but we hear all of it...maybe next year.

birth control

I know last post was about babies and this one is about birth control....seriously its just a coincidence.

Well a big part of this election focused on "reproductive rights", in fact on of the main reasons that I heard women complain via facebook or in reality was about reproductive rights....

Well, what is a right?  I don't think that anyone was taking about the right to reproduce, or the right to buy birth control in any form.

really what was behind it was not if the right existed or not but who is going to pay for the right.

I think that people should be responsible to pay for their own birth control,  I absolutely think that the government and definitely not a church (that doesn't believe in birth control) should be forced to pay for you birth control.

a right is different from being given something.  and its your right to choose, but the consequences of paying for it you should have to accept.

Of course there are some unfortunate circumstances and times that you cannot, well there are a lot of privately funded agencies out there that can help, but why should someone be forced to pay for your reproductive choices.

Lastly, I also don't like the idea of all this extra estrogen, progesterone and chemicals in general in our water, its not good and free access to it is not helping.

babies

are really cute...its easy to forget how cute they really are.

Today was my first day of OB/GYN clinicals in other words Labor and Delivery/ Post partum care.  Its sounds exciting, I was excited...it was  unfortunately mostly boring and not a lot happened but, we did get to do a newborn assessment on a cute cute cute baby...that was nice.

Unfortunately and surprisingly many of the nurses on the floor were quite the "salty" type,  who knows?  they only have one of the best jobs eva!

Being around these tiny babies reminds me of how important it is to consider the children in all decisions made.

Another thing that I have been thinking about recently is how much vulgar language bothers me, it is highly prevalent in nursing school and it makes me cringe each time,  I don't really know what I can do about it, I have mentioned it to some of those people, they sort of laughed at me. This is unfortunate.

Obviously I am quite distraught by the election results, but so much has already been said....I'll save it for another day when the dust has slightly settled.

ode to the color red

I happen to have 2 lipsticks and 2 lip glosses all of which are RED (except for 1 pink one from kate's wedding)!  When I realized this it sort of set of my observance of all the wonderful red in my life, and how attracted I am to the color.  My favorite color is actually yellow and I plan on always keeping it that way, I LOVE yellow, yellow walls, yellow paint, yellow house (someday I hope)

but

when it comes to anything I am going to wear I pick RED.  Red skirt, red scarf, red lipstick, red lip gloss, red shirt, red pants, red nail polish, red suit case, I used to have red clogs that I wish I had not wore out completely.  I have even catch myself wearing red on red on red ...maybe it matches?  Even when its not red on red I often treat red like black as in matching with anything. So this post is just in appreciation of all the red I wear and how much I love it.

this of course cannot do all the red justice because I don't take pictures very often, but I am going to start noticing and documenting all the weird combinations of red I wear.

hopefully this doesn't happen to me!

as the dew from heaven...

Today was my day to knock doors for Romney, it was a nice day, and I love it because I see cute neighborhoods (and I think even the not cute neighborhoods are cute so that's not saying much) that I would never otherwise come across, I get to be outside, walk around, talk to people.  I never want to start but, once I have started I am usually happy about it.

One of the houses I visited had 4 citrus tree right in the front, and the trees were FULL of fruit, so full that much of the fruit was rotting on the ground :(  While I was talking to the friendly home owner I mentioned the trees (and their beauty) and they told me to please take as much fruit as possible because they cannot even give it all away!

So I had Paul drive the car up and we picked as much as we had bags for....I think I have eaten at least 10 clementines today.  When we were deciding what to do with all the fruit that we will definitely not be able to eat before it rots, we of course thought of all the ways we could save it, blend it up and freeze it etc...  We did blend up some of it, we saved some for us to eat this week, but we are going to give the rest away.  As we were going through this thought process of what to do, I realized we were being a little bit like the children of Isreal and the manna in the wilderness.  The manna would fall from heaven each day and some would try and gather extra for the next day or whatever other reason, but when they would do that it would just go bad, so they had to trust that each day the manna would be brought so they would not starve.

In our case its not necessarily like we find citrus fruit like that every day, but the concept that we need to continually trust in what the Lord will bring us, and also learn that a blessing for us should also be a blessing for our neighbor as we should always think to share what we are given because so many times people share with us (in fact just yesterday I was at a friends house and while I was there I was invited to eat with her and it was just what I needed nutritionally)...you never know who will appreciate it and could be that little extra they need.

So maybe this is a pretty small and insignificant little experience, but it is continually small teaching experiences that help teach us ways to improve and allow our hearts to change.

A packed brown bag of fruit :)

basically this post=I should be less selfish about seemingly insignificant stuff

Been eating these all day...cliche florida :)

even more 

from our garden 

remembering the cave

Yesterday Paul and I were talking about our first apartment.  We were only there from the end of August to early January, but it was our first apartment after we got married so theoretically it will always hold a special place in our hearts.

It was a small studio apartment and like a said sort of a giant cave.  There were very few windows and so as a result it got quite hot, and stayed warm in the winter. The whole apartment only had one window so it was pretty dark in there as well, actually we loved it at the time, but when we moved to Corry Village (we realized how much more we liked it here)...we love Corry.

In any case I am writing this post so I will hopefully always remember those few first months that we were married.
-remember all our clothes folded in piles on the floor because we had/have no furniture
-remember the closet that I would do my homework when I would stay up late
-remember baking like crazy
-remember our cheap little mattress on the floor
-remember hanging out with our neighbors the strykers
-remember swimming in the pool @ Tanglewood
-remember bringing groceries home into the cave's entry way
-remember hanging laundry out at on the lines at Tanglewood
-remember going on walks in the area sometimes all the way to Publix
-remember aimlessly walking around all the way to campus on Christmas Eve
-remember all of Christmas break together audio books, water color, and book scanning
-remember not wanting to move because we liked it so much

and I guess just remember how special that first year was (and this year as well) and how crazy in sane it was moving out to florida right after getting married and how much our life continues to change and how easy it is to forget about and not appreciate each of the phases in our lives.

***we basically have zero pictures of that apartment or time period but these are the pictures we do have.

the plan of salvation

"I have a plan, it is better for man!"  That's from My Turn on Earth, basically the best musical ever, I am very partial to it because I grew up listening to it while I would fall asleep.  But sometimes I listen it on youtube, and Paul has learned most of it as well.

Anyway, this does not have to do with that musical, but whenever I say the word (or type) "plan" that line comes to mind.

Life can be pretty stressful, I write about that all the time, media is stressful, school is stressful, waking up early in the morning for clinicals is stressful, elections alone have probably weakened my immune system with the amount of stress I feel from it (I am surprised neither candidate has gotten sick actually), heck even doing laundry seems to be stressful.  And while this life seems to be about letting all of this overwhelm us, I had a calm feeling yesterday that looking back this is all going to look silly and unimportant.  Jobs are important now, and we can't live without money, food or shelter, it will seem small what exactly we did, or how exactly we spent our time.  But, what will matter is our family, the families we created and how well each of us allowed ourselves to let go of that stress and remember the plan of salvation and let it dictate our choices.

The plan of salvation gives me hope and helps me feel God's love and my purpose greater purpose and worth.  It also helps me value and appreciate the relationships that I have.

this is a short video about the Plan of Salvation, but more questions should be referred to the missionaries.

tights

    So now its cold here, it might even get down to 32 degrees tonight, we should probably close the window but it is so nice to have fresh air constantly circulating through our house that we probably will just freeze  and wear warm clothes all winter to avoid closing the windows.  
   Anyway, so last week I attempted to wear a turtleneck and it was too hot, this week I wore a turtle neck, sweater, scarf, and thick tights and was still slightly cold.  When I got the tights down from our closet I was rummaging through them to find a brown pair, and in the process pulled out some pink ballet tights.  I don't know if at that point my heart dropped or lept but, some kind of emotional gurgled up inside of me.  I have taken taken any sort of dance class in so long, and its ballet in particular that I miss.
   Not like I have every been some sort of amazing ballet dancer, in fact I am much better at using my ballet training to do other types of dance and look better than I am doing them, but I did take ballet for a long long time (along with other types of dance) and I had forgotten how much I enjoy it and did not realize that I have been missing it.  Why has it been so long?  Well, because I graduated from college (where I always took a dance class) followed by a mission (no dance class), followed by getting married which some how has meant no dancing, but marriage has been nice.
    So, even though I will not be taking dance at least in the next year,  I am going to try and dance a little bit each day, or stretch or do some type of physical activity that is not walking, running or plain exercise....that's my goal.

***actually a little bit of dancing did occur during the mission...here's the proof

two things I have been thinking about

this nytimes article about genetics

If a symmetrical face = beauty & intelligence well, then I have some issues that need to be addressed.  I am taking genetics right now and my mind is on these things.

isn't that an awesome head band....i saw it somewhere and then on etsy I think I can make one myself...maybe in a different color  (we are making headbands for the young women for YW in excellence so this search came about in the process)

photo: http://www.etsy.com/listing/57620384/silk-banner-hand-embroidered-headband

and lastly this :)

Gossip

Gossip is a big deal in nursing school. Think about 60 girls together for classes and clinical all day...unfortunately inevitably there will be gossip.  Or at least if not gossip perhaps just cliques and judging people and openly expressing that judgement to those that you like, so yeah pretty much gossip.

In my clinical group there is a special person that is always late, always texting and all around not easy to like (although they have many friends outside of the clinical group).  So this semester it has been a challenge not to participate in the gossip that I absolutely agree with.

Ironically, I am also a young women's leader right now, and there have been several lessons in young women's about not judging and not gossiping and I am not above needing to hear it.  I just need to remind myself everyday that I am a representative of what I believe...sometimes I am pretty good about it, and others I totally fail.

Overall nursing school has lead me to hang out with (class/clinical all day) girls I would otherwise never have crossed paths with, I have learned a lot about sororities, and expanded my knowledge of floridian/southern culture.  Some of my fellow students have been wonderful examples to me and I enjoy their company everyday, others have made me glad I did not participate in a regular undergrad experience (did you know UF if one of the nations top party schools?)

Either way, I need to get back to my module about classification of pressure ulcers ...here's one for you ....google pressure ulcers for more of where that came from...



and then some cute animals to help you forget what you just saw and this reminds me that last week I saw a lady walking a ferret...and for my job I knocked on a door last week that had a pet racoon, and I registered a student to vote several weeks before that, that had a pet hedgehog...that lived in her dorm room.  All the interesting things that one can see in florida, now I am off on a tangent but it actually puts into context stories that I have heard about my great grandfather keeping pet racoons and skunks in his house (in florida), it would not be that abnormal here.

fall?

So yesterday we began germinating seeds for winter/fall.  We have lettuce, spinach, peas, and onions.  Our tomato plants are still going but...they are slowing down, this is probably more related to the fact that we had to move our plants but, also the weather is changing.  The mornings and evenings are now cool, unfortunately the afternoons are still hot and sunny. Yesterday  when I was getting dressed I thought it might be cool enough to wear a very thin cotton turtle neck, so I wore it, and well it was cool enough in the class room, but walking home was pretty uncomfortable.  If only Florida was not so sunny all of the time it would be perfect, but sunny all the time feels like a constant attack.

Also as is usual when I have a test, I stayed up until about 5:30 am studying.  As I have been doing this  since nursing school started every time before a big test...its not a good habit, but it is becoming a habit and surprisingly it is becoming easier and easier,  I am tired today but yesterday I barely even noticed that  I had only slept 2.5 hours the night before.  I am not sure as to how I feel  about this but, I thought I should document this as a part of my life right now.

being in a study NIH style

Have you ever been in a study?
I always have amy eyes out for a study that 1- pays, 2- I qualify for.
You get paid, people study you, you influence (in a round about way) the conclusions of medical research or at least you know you data is included.

However you never know what a study is going to bring.  Once I was in a contact lens study and they did all sort of funny eye tests. now every time I get my eyes checked at the Optometrist, I am like yeah I am a pro at this.

Now I am a study I am not even sure what its about.  But I had to collect all my urine the 24 hours before my first visit. They took crazy videos of the blood vessels in my tongue.  They drew a bunch of vials of blood.  I urinated in a cup again.  I fasted before the appt.  They measured a bunch of my blood vessels a bunch of times are charted their activity.  They took my blood pressure probably 20 times during the visit.  they fed me (YES :) There was a point where I think I had monitors on all my hands and blood pressure cuffs on my arms. They took pictures of my heart and measure the walls of my heart and then and then and then and then (it was a long first appt).  don't worry I am getting paid for all this craziness.  This particular study is funded by NIH, which I have a feeling is why it is a little bit more technical?  or at least VERY well organized.  I had brought homework and thought I would be waiting around, but I was in a hospital gown, in a hospital room as the patient (never had that before) and there was no waiting around involved.

but like I said you never know what you are going to get when you sign up for one of these studies

source of image : http://www.homeravenue.com/Victor_Arnautoff.htm

grabbing a chair in the dark

and I should be studying for it right now...but I am not...
So this week I was sick, I mean not super sick, but kind of sick, I had to blow my nose every few minutes and sneeze and I did not feel the best and I had a sore throat.  I am mostly better now, but I still have to blow my nose pretty often and cough all over the place.

Also I got a job.  As a nursing student one of the best things that you can do (so they say) is work at a hospital as a PCA (CNA). Everyone always talks about this like, "ohh just go get a job as a pca no big deal" ...uhh its not that easy to just go get a job as a pca at a hospital.  Online applications are general and thus they never seem to call anyone (you can apply for like a million jobs a million times and have no way to follow up because a million other people are doing the same thing...not a million but you get it).  Well, after doing this for awhile I gave up.  But then randomly out of the blue I apply for a few jobs and get called back pretty quickly, have an interview and get hired (after I finish all this paper work/screening etc...)...I am a little baffled but grateful none the less.

It is PRN which means I can set the hours I can do each week (pretty nice eh?) and it pays pretty well (we are talking pretty well for an hourly sort of job (more than minimum wage) I am so excited!!!!  Also I am a little nervous I used to actually volunteer at the place that I will be working (the specific type of patients) and well  I am a little nervous about moving them and keeping up...but I think I will be fine...I hope.

I feel like getting this job is sort of my big break.  It gives me a ton of extra experience and exposure outside of regular clinicals that I also get paid for :), it gives a little bit of legitimacy to my resume for when I finish nursing school, and it might be my foot in the door for when I finish nursing school (maybe they will hire me...or at least the hospital in general)...so yeah, this is a miracle.

It also comes as perfect timing to when I finish my temp job I have working Saturdays.

Also we need to buy a car, we have a truck  (it was nice when we moved) but it only seats 2, its expensive on gas and blah blah blah a lot of other reasons.  So we are hoping in the next few months to sell the truck and buy a small/inexpensive car...this extra little income could definitely help us do that.  All these reasons together are evidence to me that this is a HUGE blessing, yes, I am going to be very busy, get less sleep than I may desire...BUT I know it is going to be alright and I will be given the energy I need.  Last week I was feeling overwhelmed and like uphill in all directions...its all hard/there's so much!  Now even more has been added but I am just grateful for it.  Sort of like I am trying to find my path through  dark and I had not reached any familiar landmarks for a while and then I grab onto a chair that tells me I am going in the right direction....that's what this has been.  (if that's a bad analogy sorry).

halloween toast

Yesterday after lab I came home and ate a piece of toast.  We have a lot of tomato plants right now, they are HUGE. we planted them from seeds that came from dollar tree that were a "variety" so some of our tomatos are yellow some are orange...some are pear shape, most are red.  I like to eat tomatos on toast with balsamic vinegar poured over it and it looks like Halloween toast...that's about all that in our lives right now related to halloween. I wish now that I would have taken a picture.

So what has been going on....
nursing school for me, law school for paul.
Today I did my saturday job for the romney campaign, its pretty hard to knock on doors for 5 hours, but 5 hours a week of work is enough that I can earn enough to match Paul's plasma donation money.  Today was not so hard though, it was waaaay out of Gainesville in a very rural place and it was so picturesque.  Enough to make me want to give up all sorts of things to go live in the country forever ...and I never thought I would ever ever say that.

Another thing I thought I would never say is that we are considering Paul doing JAG for a few years after law school, this interview season has been so brutal, Paul has had 18 interviews on campus which are competitive in themselves to get...a few callbacks and no offers....sigh, maybe he is supposed to be here next summer and that would be a wonderful break, but it is quite unsettling and grueling and takes way to much time. Besides, if JAG happens that basically close to a 9-5 job with weekends off, possibly living in a foreign country, so yeah you won't hear me complaining.

We are both feeling pretty beaten up and exhausted of school.  For Paul is has been a non stop marathon since we came to florida last year...every break...every weekend always has something.  He is good about trying to make time and we do homework sitting next to each other...but its never over.  It funny when we got married last August and had to drive to florida the next day and start school as soon as we got here it didn't really phase me that we didn't get a honeymoon...that's life right? but now I am  feeling like some time off is warranted.  Maybe just something out of the ordinary that I can be excited about?

Also aside from plasma donations, and knocking on doors saturday.  We also have the income source of Paul doing legal work for a lawyer in Gainesville this is always an excellent little extra, but again another time requirement...but be so appreciate all these bits and pieces we are blessed with.  Speaking of I have an interview for a job in a local hospital this Monday.  It is PRN which is perfect and it would give me some extra clinical experience, references and a foot in the door so that when I graduate next year hopefully I will already have a foot in the door.

I had written a little bit about service, and since then a lot of extra service opportunities have come up.  Helping young women, giving rides, cleaning out houses, and free babysitting have all come my way and its really been a blessing for me to help others even in just a small way...hopefully I will keep an open heart so that when these things come my way I will continue to volunteer (its always so easy to make excuses)

Fyi...I never get to buy clothes (sorry for the complaining today), and I am pretty used to that, the truth is I actually HAVE a lot of clothes from my past that I never wear because they don't fit right (everything is too big) or it is just slightly too short etc...so I got out my sewing machine and started lengthening and altering and voila....I have a whole new wardrobe...its wonderful and I have found out that I like sewing more than I thought I did.

After general conference Paul and I decided to make a goal to only use the internet/computer for things we need...not time wasting,  I have not been perfect but I have been better, what a worthy goal, hopefully we can keep it up. btw, wasn't general conference wonderful

I also signed up to be in a study (yay to live in a college town) to earn a little extra $$$...so next wednesday I have to collect a 24 hour sample of my urine for them....I am wondering how that will go because I will be in clinicals 8 hours of that...I am interested to see how that goes.

Last but not least...the weather has finally changed here..."changed", it is of course still quite warm, but the main difference is that it cools off at night...we can use blankets again :)  and since we spent the whole summer shedding our clothes as soon as we stepped into our we-are-to-cheap-to-use-our-air apartment we can also start wearing clothes again...its marvelous, although is going to talk some getting used to.

So despite all my complaining, I really don't actually have anything worth complaining about right now, good things are happening, life is moving,  I still get to take naps sometimes even though I have to wake up early everyday for school, someone gave us some cheese this week and we are eating it like maniacs who haven't seen cheese in a year (I love cheese more than I ever knew), we have been blessed with continual good health, safety, and love.  We miss our families it was a year in August since seeing the sibs...but we have skype and love them a lot. and we are both learning so much in school and otherwise right now.



these are some of dresses that I altered/added liners too in order to make them appropriate

Paul and his fancy Book Award in Civil Procedure

before we leave for the church (we started walking again...its 2.6 miles away so we have to wake up a little early, but its worth it)

one of our tomato plants and bell pepper next to it, this plants is over 7 feet tall!  we have a bunch of others but they are all scattered around in front of our door under our neighbors stairs etc...we have basically had unlimited tomatos all summer long and continuing on...who can complain about that...I cant wait until we have a real garden!

here's the awesome young women in our ward...we got to go bowling for an activity

Paul had a birthday shout hurray...Paul eats NO (and I mean zip) sugar these days so this cake consisted of pumpkin (not from the can), applesauce, banana, oats, flour, backing powder, and some spices....and it all (eventually got eaten)

also this little guy that was born in our neighbors air conditioners and has been hanging around our plants since then...we don't even hate him like the other squirrels

thats it!

so that's my update and its stinkin' long!

modern life

I know it is not unique to be reminiscent about a simpler life....but seriously driving in the car today and listening to abba got me thinking about how much simpler life was just during the 1970s...
no internet (that happens to sound good right now) professors can only assign what they can cover in class and they cant make you print out a million things that just sounds sooo nice.

lessons in nursing - chemo

"That ye ^amay be the ^bchildren of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth ^crain on the just and on the unjust."
Matthew 5:45

I can't say which hospital I am at but, I am on a floor that deals with some serious serious cancers.  What do nurses do on floors like that they hang bags of cytotoxic material...its intense.  

Of course I always have known cancer is real, but today seeing those who are affected sort of changed my opinion of it....some cancers can affect an 80 year or a 23 year old without rhyme or reason.  Some cancers go into remission and others kill.  In any case it was a reminder that all of us have trials "the just" and "unjust".  All types of people get cancer, the kind and the mean, the young and old, the honest and the deceitful, its hard for all, and each has their own lesson to learn.  And each of them were living normal lives some not even that long ago and now are isolated (i hope I never have to live through isolation precautions esp. for an extended period of time), alone and unsure of their life.

pharmacology test 1

Why am I awake right now I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 tomorrow. must.research.meds, but don't want to!
also I am a 100% on my first pharmacology test booya...and B on my genetics test.  All this after studying till 5:30 in the morning and then having both tests in one day.... I still haven't recovered so after clinicals, and then young womens activity tomorrow I am going to sleep straight through Thursday (actually I have a ton to do :(

Also in case you are wondering what it will sound like here in our apartment that couldn't be closer to the stadium its this...probably beginning at a very early hour...people here are obsessed with football and its starting to rub off on Paul...
I will be glad when its Christmas Break and this madness is over...but its still just october::sigh::

fraternity boys

   So, where I finished undergraduate there were definitely fraternities and sororities, I was aware of them, I knew they existed, but other than seeing a few streakers run out of their front doors and down the street (piedmont ave)  it really did not affect my life very much.
   Where I live right now, and the school I am studying at ...that is NOT the case.  I see greek like stereotypes everyday...and they are ACCURATE.  Sometimes I feel like this entire campus is teenage movie about college campus life, everyone is a jock, everyone wears neons, and sooo many people are in frats and sororities.  We also live on campus in married student housing which is sooo close to frat row. Furthermore the majority of the several of the girls in my clinical group/program are fresh out of sororities, I have no problem with them or anything I have just been made aware of what goes on.

    So today, when I found out my Saturday political door knocking job required me to be paired up with your typical Gainesvillian (a frat boy)...I rolled my eyes and tried to be friendly.  We had some interesting conversastion. I then told him that I was Mormon...and too my surprise he got pretty excited about it.  He said I was the first Mormon he had ever met...and had all sorts of sincere questions to ask me.  He was super positive about it, and seemed to be genuinely interested about knowing more.... so we spent most of the day talking about that...not really a doctrine based conversation...he was interested in food storage, and other random things, but it was positive.  So today, aside from seeing a different part of Gainesville and knocking on a lot of doors, I also decided that frat boys are not so bad annoying after all, but I will still give them dirty looks on the bus when they are dropping all manner of uncalled for vulgarity.

Also watched this tonight ...wonderful

http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/archive/general-relief-society-meeting/2012/09?lang=eng

also I have two BIG tests monday booo!

NPR

So, I love NPR, whenever I am in the car I listen to it.  I learn so much from it. However ever since election time...even primary time, it has become so biased...and openly...and offensively so that I am boycotting NPR until the end of elections. I know there are a lot of biased radio stations out there but, NPR is supposed to be public radio, and so they shouldn't be using there public radio power to be biased.
 I don't miss NPR too much because it seem I am in the car less and less. It might seem kind of silly just two people boycotting NPR...can't make much of a difference...so I thought.  But ironically last week in the mail we got forms to fill out for radio ratings,  you know those random things they send you in the mail and give you a few bucks to fill out and they use the data to decide ratings, so actually our boycotting NPR right now actually makes a difference...its kind of like a confirmation of our decision to boycott, and making it worth while.