peds

Last night I had my clinicals for 8 hours in peds.  I was  anxious about how I would make it through 8 hours of clinicals, because sometimes clinicals are crazy especially when you don't know what you are supposed to be doing or how to do it.   I was not expecting to love peds, I mean i have babysat ALOT in my life and as much as I enjoy it, it is also nice to be able to tell someone what you are going to do and not have them cry.  Well, turns out Peds was THE BEST (not like I have been very many places yet),  I learned a lot, our prof was nice and patient and willing to explain everything, and 8 hours flew by like it was 2.  So yeah maybe I can work in peds and maybe I am liking nursing more than I was at the beginning of the week, what a blessing!

LIKE

biking and thinking

So I have given in basically.  I walked most of last semester and I knew once I started riding my bike I would not stop(because 10 minutes vs 30 minutes to get to school is too appealing).  I actually hate riding bikes.  There was a time in my life that I think I liked it but, that was cancelled out by the fact that I rode my bike waaaaay too much sort of out-did it...same can be said for swimming laps.  When I was learning to ride a bike as a kid my parents forced me because I did not want to learn at all, there was a lot of crying involved, my younger brother learned before I did even...but I learned.  In high school I biked everywhere it was freedom...I could and would go anywhere I wanted, even hours HOURS away (prob 20-30 mins in a car)...that's when I wore myself out.  Then there was biking in Germany in the snow un dresses ( I only wore pants 1 time that ENTIRE YEAR...dont ask me why!), then I biked sometimes in Berkeley.  Then there was the mission, probably the most intense and dangerous biking of my life.  Through floods up to my waist at least weekly, usually more often, and there is a wonderful round about in Sibu that I almost lost my life in pretty much every night....and its not a joke at all...it was serious business and there are no traffic laws in Sibu, it was like my peddling a horrible bike as fast as I could trying to beat a giant lori in a heavy downpour at night...the only reason I survived biking at sibu (there are unlimited crazy stories about biking there) was because I was on a mission and was being protected.  I didn't quite comprehend then how absolutely vulnerable we were then (I had some idea) but even right after I got transferred I stopped fearing for my life.

Anyway, the reason all about biking is because I dont think I have ever written in my journal about biking and it would be good to have at least a short history of it.

So today, I was feeling pretty good.  I wore a new shirt from my mom, I got out on time.  I thought I looked good, I remembered everything I needed for the day.  I headed out and well, right now there are a bunch of freshman around.  You know fall semester just started they are away from their parents for the first time off to college adventures, have no idea where they are going or what they are doing.  getting out of the bus and standing blankly in the bike lane.  I was coming down an incline  I saw the bus stop I saw the people get out I was prepared...everyone was cleared except one kid...standing blankly in the bike lane, I yelled three times "excuse me can you move! Excuse Me Can You Move! EXCUSE ME CAN YOU MOVE!"  no just oblivious to everything around him, I tried to dodge  but there was a bus on the other side but I mostly cleared him only hitting part of his leg which threw me off my bike  onto the cement in the process.  I just tried to hold myself together.  He laughed and said are you ok?  I mustered up all my composure to just say.."thanks for laughing" and get on my bike and run off on my bike, handle bars twisted and all.  It was not my best moment...but now looking back I am grateful nothing worse happened.  It def. shook me up for the day, but i didn't and even made it through my first class without staying anything to anyone although my legs were dripping blood all over....soo glad this day is over.

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FYI

AMERICA IS NOT A FREE COUNTRY AND I AM BEING FORCED TO GET A FLU SHOT THAT I DONT WANT AND DONT NEED...AND CANT AFFORD>>>AND I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

being a missionary

We have recently thinking that we need to be better missionaries, and prayed for an experience to do so.  Just the next day, when I was all alone (because Paul drove to DC and back in a less than 36 hours) I was doing some household (apartment) chores and when I was outside I started talking to our neighbors... they were really nice.  Religion came up (maybe because they were persian form india and I was curious)  and we ended up having them over tonight for a religious discussion.  We told them about our beliefs and they told us about theirs, it was informative, polite and a wonderful experience.  I think both gained a great respect as well as some new friends :). Unfortunately they will be moving out soon, fortunately we can help them move and they are not moving that far away.  It was a nice way to spend our Sunday, and I feel like the prayer was answered.  I should definitely be aware of more opportunities to share.

Also Paul and I went on a date to buy ice cream at target...it wasn't really a date but about as close to it as it gets for us.  While we were there I was like I need some pants...maybe I can see if any are on sale and try them on.  They were on sale and I tried on the smallest size they had (or make) and it was huge!!! HUGE!!! on me.  I am small...but I am not THAT small, it is a little scary if their smallest size is falling off me!  What do REALLY small people do.  And who wear these giant clothes, ARE THEY CRAZY! (also I wore a red shirt and khakis and i totally looked like an employee there...woops!)

Also hurricane isaac just passed us by.
Also Paul got another call back interview, yay!  lets hope something comes of something, but I trust what is right will happen.
Also can we start a countdown to November please.

Also, I really love Paul so much.  I dont think that our first year was rough or anything like that, but I feel like I am growing to love him more each day.  In church today we had a wonderful lesson on the scripture.  I realized that even though Paul and I read scriptures together each night I need to be better about reading on my own, because it is true that taking that time is worth it and makes such a huge difference.

I was not diligent about doing my homework this week...its just the first week right.  But I am keenly aware of how much time I waste and how much better I could be and get soo much more done if I was not a time waster, so I am working on that, see I even admitted it here so I am making some real goals about less time wasted, more time used for important things.

I ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN HOW TO INSERT CATHETERS IN MEN AND WOMEN....SAID NO ONE EVER!

life's big decision

sometimes you plan for things and then you change your mind.  In my life being impatient has never been a good thing, but usually good has come out of it in the long term.  Am I being impatient.  Should I just go for it.  Haven't I learned my lesson that I should just wait things out and they WILL go ok.  Or is this actually divine prompting sigh....maybe i should just wait until school starts and figure it out then

maybe miami

SO...my break is almost over so almost over that I have already seen what my schedule will be like starting wednesday and it is going to hurt dearly.  Friday we were supposed to go to washington DC for an interview, but turns out I am going to have lab stuff and so...i will be alone here for a night.

It has been raining HARD for a few days, we like it because it cools everything off and we dont even notice our lack of air conditioning, and we don't have to water the plants, on the other hand its not always fun to get wet whenever you walk outside.

for the big news P got a call back interview at a BIG law firm in miami...the kind that law students dream about...or at least my law student.  We are pretty dang excited an grateful for even this opportunity.  and even though this is call-backs for a summer internship that is basically a try out for hiring you at all...but anything is encouraging and I am not a pessimist so naturally I started thinking what our life would be like if we lived in Miami....long term.

Well, actually its looking pretty good. I looked at some apts that would be near where Paul could possibly work and they are more expensive than we are paying now for sure, but if we had a real income they would be a pretty good deal.  Also if we lived in Miami I could grow all sorts of tropical plants...dragon fruit, papaya it would be awesome!

so whether or not we end up living in Miami or with this internship or job...i think in a few years I will appreciate looking back at these thoughts on that possibility.

sappy indonesian love songs get me everytime

I slept with my mouth wide open and now I have serious jaw pain...ouch! now for some sappy indonesian music.

we've been married for a year now

A year from yesterday that is.  Although we did not do anything extra special yesterday we still had a little extra time to enjoy each other's company.  Paul has on campus interviews this week, exciting, but also daunting because it has a sort of THIS. IS .IT! feeling, there are always other pathways to go if you don't get a summer position this way, and Paul is determined to do whatever he needs to, but it would be nice if things went as smoothly as for him to be hired by one of these firms now. But I can't really ask for more than we are already getting, we got in state tuition and we are so overwhelmingly grateful that we did, it will make a huuuuuge difference in our lives.  Also I am a million times grateful to be married to Paul.  He is always nice to me (no one is always nice true, but he comes pretty close), patient ( which I require a lot of ) and considerate (always thinking of small and large ways to make my life easier and more enjoyable).  this year has flown by!

Political power I HAZ IT!  Today, I went to vote in some florida primaries for senators and congressman and such...well the voting precinct that I belong to is apparently uhhh pathetic because only 11 people showed up...and 2 of those eleven were me and paul...that almost 20% of the vote.  I made a difference :)

So i like to read blogs, mostly because I am just nosy and I like looking at people awesome pictures.  But recently some of the blogs I read sort of became ridiculous. I mean you cannot pretend to be normal when you are in your twenties with kids and already stinkin' rich.  One of the blogs I read was selling of their used clothes...cool i thought I will take a look.  Well anyone who thinks they can sell a used piece of not very special clothing for $50-130 is delusional about what reality is.  If that were what my life where like and i bought expensive stuff and had a blog about how normal I was I probably at least be a little more conscience about what normal people spend on clothes so as to not attempt to sell my used clothes for more than their monthly food budget....
Yes, I talk about money a lot of here...can't help it.

It is not unlikely that in a few years that we will not be poor anymore, we will have enough and hopefully some to spare...but i don't think I will ever be able to do silly things like pay over 100 for any piece of clothing...maybe not even over 50...unless its something like a winter coat.

also we took some pictures so I will post them.

                                       carrots from our garden...these were grown in a bucket!

                                                    those are our cool curtains, i made them(thats why they're cool)

                                         im thinking about painting these...fruit is soo beautiful!

giant cockroach

Saturday night  I was studying somewhere around the 2am mark.  I was laying on the floor a few feet from the front door and in crawls a large black cockroach( we are talking a 3 inches...this is florida). I am even surprised that I saw it because i happened to look up at the perfect time, we pretty much made eye contact. I jumped up and leaned over an grabbed the a large nursing textbook and the fight began.  It hid behind the show rack, i moved the shoe rack.  I swung, it dodged, and then out of no where it took a right swoop headed toward our 50 lb. bag of oatmeal...that was a bad choice, out of love for oatmeal and desperation and a 5 minute long fight (in my mind) I took it out, or at least immobilized enough to finish.

For some reason though, it concerned me, that it headed toward the oatmeal...where there bugs in it?  Was it headed to feed its children or something like that.  Its true that oatmeal was not sealed very well, and in a thick paper bag, and since we don't use air conditioning, mold was a big concern.  So I dragged the bag out of the corner and dusted it off...while there were not any major bugs in side there were little dust spider all over, and the bag was ok, but I realized that we needed to put the oatmeal in more stable containers if it was going to last any length of time, and I feel like I had this realization just in time.  So in the morning Paul and cleaned out some of the buckets we get for free from the grocery store bakery(they come with well sealable caps), and put the oatmeal in it and sealed it up.  There were some signs that it had been tampered with, but we carefully checked it as we put it in and it seems like we caught it at the right time.

So today I guess I am grateful for cockroaches?  Or at least the variety of interesting ways that heavenly father has to help us do what we are supposed to.  We wanted to have food storage, and I guess I know we are being helped in many little (and not so little ways).

Also I got my highest yet grade on Health Assessment (the final) and now all I have to do is buckle down and study for patho, and pass my checkoff tomorrow and then this semester is officially over.

That is ice cream is the best way I can think of to illustrate the joy that will ensue!

the night before the last day of clinicals (for the semester)

Today, we had a check off in the lab. I was not feeling particularly confident because last check off came after the week of 3 tests and staying up until 4 am each night.  It was not pretty, I started crying in the middle because the prof. had me stop to clear my head and think about what I was doing.  I could not clear my head....I had not eaten and I had not slept! My head was not going to be clear.  I walked out without any shoes on and in a cardigan (we were doing an abdomen assessment) without a shirt underneath and cried in the bathroom...possible everyone in the world saw me on the way out, horrific.
Luckily the prof. heard my cries and let me eat lunch first (although I still am not over being stopped in the middle) and come back and start where I left off, I was feeling better after lunch and passed.

This check off went much better, I did forget cranial nerve number five (trigeminal) but I remember it at the end and went back...my confidence is back and I celebrated by wasting most of the day in the fashion of taking a nap and buying ice cream.

Anyway, with all my complaining about nursing school, I am feeling pretty confident that it is in fact the right decision and that  it's where I am supposed to be.  And even though I feel often times like I would rather be having babies while my husband is in law school...its just not time yet.  In the meantime I have a lot to be grateful for, and in the end I will have the opportunity to care for people that could not only come in handy for money making purposes but also for some greater vaster purpose that I am yet to understand.

In the meantime we are being blessed left and right....here are some examples.
I wanted ice cream and not the cheapest kind so I went to target to buy some, and there was a two dollar coupon for the exact kind I wanted that someone had left in the freezer...so it became the cheapest kind IT WAS AWESOME...coupon directly from heaven and I am not being sarcastic we are being watched out for.
second, someone was getting rid of a mattress that was a million times nicer than our flimsy six inch thick mattress and gave it to us..for free. so now we have a fancy (real) mattress that is infinitely more comfortable.
third we got to house sit  again for one night and watch part of the olympics as well as make some extra money
fourth Paul actually got some on campus interviews, although getting an interview (for internships next summer) is step one...its enough to make me feel like...hey there is a plan, and its going to be ok.
Fifth our plants are doing really well
seventh my visiting teacher gave me a bag of homegrown vegetables
eigth...there is an 8, 9, 10, 11 and beyond but I should probably stop here and go to bed....with a heart bursting of gratitude (not supposed to be sarcastic)....

here's a little bit of vanity (pictures)

 on our way to the pool...florida is looking quite similar to malaysia (my mission)

 housesitting (if only that were our kitchen)...that carrot small as it  may be, was grown in a bucket (our garden)

 Paul bakes his first cake (that's our kitchen)

 I wax my own armpits...and those yellow flowers were begging for this sort of picture

when I was studying for my last test I was reading about the patho of asthma and state of asthma is called "status asthmaticus"  (sp) anyway it just sounded so harry potter that we had to make this sort of picture....so that is paul "staticus asthmaticus"ing me.

next up a list of what I am going to do over the break (10 days)