the plan of salvation

"I have a plan, it is better for man!"  That's from My Turn on Earth, basically the best musical ever, I am very partial to it because I grew up listening to it while I would fall asleep.  But sometimes I listen it on youtube, and Paul has learned most of it as well.

Anyway, this does not have to do with that musical, but whenever I say the word (or type) "plan" that line comes to mind.

Life can be pretty stressful, I write about that all the time, media is stressful, school is stressful, waking up early in the morning for clinicals is stressful, elections alone have probably weakened my immune system with the amount of stress I feel from it (I am surprised neither candidate has gotten sick actually), heck even doing laundry seems to be stressful.  And while this life seems to be about letting all of this overwhelm us, I had a calm feeling yesterday that looking back this is all going to look silly and unimportant.  Jobs are important now, and we can't live without money, food or shelter, it will seem small what exactly we did, or how exactly we spent our time.  But, what will matter is our family, the families we created and how well each of us allowed ourselves to let go of that stress and remember the plan of salvation and let it dictate our choices.

The plan of salvation gives me hope and helps me feel God's love and my purpose greater purpose and worth.  It also helps me value and appreciate the relationships that I have.

this is a short video about the Plan of Salvation, but more questions should be referred to the missionaries.

tights

    So now its cold here, it might even get down to 32 degrees tonight, we should probably close the window but it is so nice to have fresh air constantly circulating through our house that we probably will just freeze  and wear warm clothes all winter to avoid closing the windows.  
   Anyway, so last week I attempted to wear a turtleneck and it was too hot, this week I wore a turtle neck, sweater, scarf, and thick tights and was still slightly cold.  When I got the tights down from our closet I was rummaging through them to find a brown pair, and in the process pulled out some pink ballet tights.  I don't know if at that point my heart dropped or lept but, some kind of emotional gurgled up inside of me.  I have taken taken any sort of dance class in so long, and its ballet in particular that I miss.
   Not like I have every been some sort of amazing ballet dancer, in fact I am much better at using my ballet training to do other types of dance and look better than I am doing them, but I did take ballet for a long long time (along with other types of dance) and I had forgotten how much I enjoy it and did not realize that I have been missing it.  Why has it been so long?  Well, because I graduated from college (where I always took a dance class) followed by a mission (no dance class), followed by getting married which some how has meant no dancing, but marriage has been nice.
    So, even though I will not be taking dance at least in the next year,  I am going to try and dance a little bit each day, or stretch or do some type of physical activity that is not walking, running or plain exercise....that's my goal.

***actually a little bit of dancing did occur during the mission...here's the proof

two things I have been thinking about

this nytimes article about genetics

If a symmetrical face = beauty & intelligence well, then I have some issues that need to be addressed.  I am taking genetics right now and my mind is on these things.

isn't that an awesome head band....i saw it somewhere and then on etsy I think I can make one myself...maybe in a different color  (we are making headbands for the young women for YW in excellence so this search came about in the process)

photo: http://www.etsy.com/listing/57620384/silk-banner-hand-embroidered-headband

and lastly this :)

Gossip

Gossip is a big deal in nursing school. Think about 60 girls together for classes and clinical all day...unfortunately inevitably there will be gossip.  Or at least if not gossip perhaps just cliques and judging people and openly expressing that judgement to those that you like, so yeah pretty much gossip.

In my clinical group there is a special person that is always late, always texting and all around not easy to like (although they have many friends outside of the clinical group).  So this semester it has been a challenge not to participate in the gossip that I absolutely agree with.

Ironically, I am also a young women's leader right now, and there have been several lessons in young women's about not judging and not gossiping and I am not above needing to hear it.  I just need to remind myself everyday that I am a representative of what I believe...sometimes I am pretty good about it, and others I totally fail.

Overall nursing school has lead me to hang out with (class/clinical all day) girls I would otherwise never have crossed paths with, I have learned a lot about sororities, and expanded my knowledge of floridian/southern culture.  Some of my fellow students have been wonderful examples to me and I enjoy their company everyday, others have made me glad I did not participate in a regular undergrad experience (did you know UF if one of the nations top party schools?)

Either way, I need to get back to my module about classification of pressure ulcers ...here's one for you ....google pressure ulcers for more of where that came from...



and then some cute animals to help you forget what you just saw and this reminds me that last week I saw a lady walking a ferret...and for my job I knocked on a door last week that had a pet racoon, and I registered a student to vote several weeks before that, that had a pet hedgehog...that lived in her dorm room.  All the interesting things that one can see in florida, now I am off on a tangent but it actually puts into context stories that I have heard about my great grandfather keeping pet racoons and skunks in his house (in florida), it would not be that abnormal here.

fall?

So yesterday we began germinating seeds for winter/fall.  We have lettuce, spinach, peas, and onions.  Our tomato plants are still going but...they are slowing down, this is probably more related to the fact that we had to move our plants but, also the weather is changing.  The mornings and evenings are now cool, unfortunately the afternoons are still hot and sunny. Yesterday  when I was getting dressed I thought it might be cool enough to wear a very thin cotton turtle neck, so I wore it, and well it was cool enough in the class room, but walking home was pretty uncomfortable.  If only Florida was not so sunny all of the time it would be perfect, but sunny all the time feels like a constant attack.

Also as is usual when I have a test, I stayed up until about 5:30 am studying.  As I have been doing this  since nursing school started every time before a big test...its not a good habit, but it is becoming a habit and surprisingly it is becoming easier and easier,  I am tired today but yesterday I barely even noticed that  I had only slept 2.5 hours the night before.  I am not sure as to how I feel  about this but, I thought I should document this as a part of my life right now.

being in a study NIH style

Have you ever been in a study?
I always have amy eyes out for a study that 1- pays, 2- I qualify for.
You get paid, people study you, you influence (in a round about way) the conclusions of medical research or at least you know you data is included.

However you never know what a study is going to bring.  Once I was in a contact lens study and they did all sort of funny eye tests. now every time I get my eyes checked at the Optometrist, I am like yeah I am a pro at this.

Now I am a study I am not even sure what its about.  But I had to collect all my urine the 24 hours before my first visit. They took crazy videos of the blood vessels in my tongue.  They drew a bunch of vials of blood.  I urinated in a cup again.  I fasted before the appt.  They measured a bunch of my blood vessels a bunch of times are charted their activity.  They took my blood pressure probably 20 times during the visit.  they fed me (YES :) There was a point where I think I had monitors on all my hands and blood pressure cuffs on my arms. They took pictures of my heart and measure the walls of my heart and then and then and then and then (it was a long first appt).  don't worry I am getting paid for all this craziness.  This particular study is funded by NIH, which I have a feeling is why it is a little bit more technical?  or at least VERY well organized.  I had brought homework and thought I would be waiting around, but I was in a hospital gown, in a hospital room as the patient (never had that before) and there was no waiting around involved.

but like I said you never know what you are going to get when you sign up for one of these studies

source of image : http://www.homeravenue.com/Victor_Arnautoff.htm

grabbing a chair in the dark

and I should be studying for it right now...but I am not...
So this week I was sick, I mean not super sick, but kind of sick, I had to blow my nose every few minutes and sneeze and I did not feel the best and I had a sore throat.  I am mostly better now, but I still have to blow my nose pretty often and cough all over the place.

Also I got a job.  As a nursing student one of the best things that you can do (so they say) is work at a hospital as a PCA (CNA). Everyone always talks about this like, "ohh just go get a job as a pca no big deal" ...uhh its not that easy to just go get a job as a pca at a hospital.  Online applications are general and thus they never seem to call anyone (you can apply for like a million jobs a million times and have no way to follow up because a million other people are doing the same thing...not a million but you get it).  Well, after doing this for awhile I gave up.  But then randomly out of the blue I apply for a few jobs and get called back pretty quickly, have an interview and get hired (after I finish all this paper work/screening etc...)...I am a little baffled but grateful none the less.

It is PRN which means I can set the hours I can do each week (pretty nice eh?) and it pays pretty well (we are talking pretty well for an hourly sort of job (more than minimum wage) I am so excited!!!!  Also I am a little nervous I used to actually volunteer at the place that I will be working (the specific type of patients) and well  I am a little nervous about moving them and keeping up...but I think I will be fine...I hope.

I feel like getting this job is sort of my big break.  It gives me a ton of extra experience and exposure outside of regular clinicals that I also get paid for :), it gives a little bit of legitimacy to my resume for when I finish nursing school, and it might be my foot in the door for when I finish nursing school (maybe they will hire me...or at least the hospital in general)...so yeah, this is a miracle.

It also comes as perfect timing to when I finish my temp job I have working Saturdays.

Also we need to buy a car, we have a truck  (it was nice when we moved) but it only seats 2, its expensive on gas and blah blah blah a lot of other reasons.  So we are hoping in the next few months to sell the truck and buy a small/inexpensive car...this extra little income could definitely help us do that.  All these reasons together are evidence to me that this is a HUGE blessing, yes, I am going to be very busy, get less sleep than I may desire...BUT I know it is going to be alright and I will be given the energy I need.  Last week I was feeling overwhelmed and like uphill in all directions...its all hard/there's so much!  Now even more has been added but I am just grateful for it.  Sort of like I am trying to find my path through  dark and I had not reached any familiar landmarks for a while and then I grab onto a chair that tells me I am going in the right direction....that's what this has been.  (if that's a bad analogy sorry).

halloween toast

Yesterday after lab I came home and ate a piece of toast.  We have a lot of tomato plants right now, they are HUGE. we planted them from seeds that came from dollar tree that were a "variety" so some of our tomatos are yellow some are orange...some are pear shape, most are red.  I like to eat tomatos on toast with balsamic vinegar poured over it and it looks like Halloween toast...that's about all that in our lives right now related to halloween. I wish now that I would have taken a picture.

So what has been going on....
nursing school for me, law school for paul.
Today I did my saturday job for the romney campaign, its pretty hard to knock on doors for 5 hours, but 5 hours a week of work is enough that I can earn enough to match Paul's plasma donation money.  Today was not so hard though, it was waaaay out of Gainesville in a very rural place and it was so picturesque.  Enough to make me want to give up all sorts of things to go live in the country forever ...and I never thought I would ever ever say that.

Another thing I thought I would never say is that we are considering Paul doing JAG for a few years after law school, this interview season has been so brutal, Paul has had 18 interviews on campus which are competitive in themselves to get...a few callbacks and no offers....sigh, maybe he is supposed to be here next summer and that would be a wonderful break, but it is quite unsettling and grueling and takes way to much time. Besides, if JAG happens that basically close to a 9-5 job with weekends off, possibly living in a foreign country, so yeah you won't hear me complaining.

We are both feeling pretty beaten up and exhausted of school.  For Paul is has been a non stop marathon since we came to florida last year...every break...every weekend always has something.  He is good about trying to make time and we do homework sitting next to each other...but its never over.  It funny when we got married last August and had to drive to florida the next day and start school as soon as we got here it didn't really phase me that we didn't get a honeymoon...that's life right? but now I am  feeling like some time off is warranted.  Maybe just something out of the ordinary that I can be excited about?

Also aside from plasma donations, and knocking on doors saturday.  We also have the income source of Paul doing legal work for a lawyer in Gainesville this is always an excellent little extra, but again another time requirement...but be so appreciate all these bits and pieces we are blessed with.  Speaking of I have an interview for a job in a local hospital this Monday.  It is PRN which is perfect and it would give me some extra clinical experience, references and a foot in the door so that when I graduate next year hopefully I will already have a foot in the door.

I had written a little bit about service, and since then a lot of extra service opportunities have come up.  Helping young women, giving rides, cleaning out houses, and free babysitting have all come my way and its really been a blessing for me to help others even in just a small way...hopefully I will keep an open heart so that when these things come my way I will continue to volunteer (its always so easy to make excuses)

Fyi...I never get to buy clothes (sorry for the complaining today), and I am pretty used to that, the truth is I actually HAVE a lot of clothes from my past that I never wear because they don't fit right (everything is too big) or it is just slightly too short etc...so I got out my sewing machine and started lengthening and altering and voila....I have a whole new wardrobe...its wonderful and I have found out that I like sewing more than I thought I did.

After general conference Paul and I decided to make a goal to only use the internet/computer for things we need...not time wasting,  I have not been perfect but I have been better, what a worthy goal, hopefully we can keep it up. btw, wasn't general conference wonderful

I also signed up to be in a study (yay to live in a college town) to earn a little extra $$$...so next wednesday I have to collect a 24 hour sample of my urine for them....I am wondering how that will go because I will be in clinicals 8 hours of that...I am interested to see how that goes.

Last but not least...the weather has finally changed here..."changed", it is of course still quite warm, but the main difference is that it cools off at night...we can use blankets again :)  and since we spent the whole summer shedding our clothes as soon as we stepped into our we-are-to-cheap-to-use-our-air apartment we can also start wearing clothes again...its marvelous, although is going to talk some getting used to.

So despite all my complaining, I really don't actually have anything worth complaining about right now, good things are happening, life is moving,  I still get to take naps sometimes even though I have to wake up early everyday for school, someone gave us some cheese this week and we are eating it like maniacs who haven't seen cheese in a year (I love cheese more than I ever knew), we have been blessed with continual good health, safety, and love.  We miss our families it was a year in August since seeing the sibs...but we have skype and love them a lot. and we are both learning so much in school and otherwise right now.



these are some of dresses that I altered/added liners too in order to make them appropriate

Paul and his fancy Book Award in Civil Procedure

before we leave for the church (we started walking again...its 2.6 miles away so we have to wake up a little early, but its worth it)

one of our tomato plants and bell pepper next to it, this plants is over 7 feet tall!  we have a bunch of others but they are all scattered around in front of our door under our neighbors stairs etc...we have basically had unlimited tomatos all summer long and continuing on...who can complain about that...I cant wait until we have a real garden!

here's the awesome young women in our ward...we got to go bowling for an activity

Paul had a birthday shout hurray...Paul eats NO (and I mean zip) sugar these days so this cake consisted of pumpkin (not from the can), applesauce, banana, oats, flour, backing powder, and some spices....and it all (eventually got eaten)

also this little guy that was born in our neighbors air conditioners and has been hanging around our plants since then...we don't even hate him like the other squirrels

thats it!

so that's my update and its stinkin' long!

modern life

I know it is not unique to be reminiscent about a simpler life....but seriously driving in the car today and listening to abba got me thinking about how much simpler life was just during the 1970s...
no internet (that happens to sound good right now) professors can only assign what they can cover in class and they cant make you print out a million things that just sounds sooo nice.

lessons in nursing - chemo

"That ye ^amay be the ^bchildren of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth ^crain on the just and on the unjust."
Matthew 5:45

I can't say which hospital I am at but, I am on a floor that deals with some serious serious cancers.  What do nurses do on floors like that they hang bags of cytotoxic material...its intense.  

Of course I always have known cancer is real, but today seeing those who are affected sort of changed my opinion of it....some cancers can affect an 80 year or a 23 year old without rhyme or reason.  Some cancers go into remission and others kill.  In any case it was a reminder that all of us have trials "the just" and "unjust".  All types of people get cancer, the kind and the mean, the young and old, the honest and the deceitful, its hard for all, and each has their own lesson to learn.  And each of them were living normal lives some not even that long ago and now are isolated (i hope I never have to live through isolation precautions esp. for an extended period of time), alone and unsure of their life.

pharmacology test 1

Why am I awake right now I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 tomorrow. must.research.meds, but don't want to!
also I am a 100% on my first pharmacology test booya...and B on my genetics test.  All this after studying till 5:30 in the morning and then having both tests in one day.... I still haven't recovered so after clinicals, and then young womens activity tomorrow I am going to sleep straight through Thursday (actually I have a ton to do :(

Also in case you are wondering what it will sound like here in our apartment that couldn't be closer to the stadium its this...probably beginning at a very early hour...people here are obsessed with football and its starting to rub off on Paul...
I will be glad when its Christmas Break and this madness is over...but its still just october::sigh::