the night before the last day of clinicals (for the semester)

Today, we had a check off in the lab. I was not feeling particularly confident because last check off came after the week of 3 tests and staying up until 4 am each night.  It was not pretty, I started crying in the middle because the prof. had me stop to clear my head and think about what I was doing.  I could not clear my head....I had not eaten and I had not slept! My head was not going to be clear.  I walked out without any shoes on and in a cardigan (we were doing an abdomen assessment) without a shirt underneath and cried in the bathroom...possible everyone in the world saw me on the way out, horrific.
Luckily the prof. heard my cries and let me eat lunch first (although I still am not over being stopped in the middle) and come back and start where I left off, I was feeling better after lunch and passed.

This check off went much better, I did forget cranial nerve number five (trigeminal) but I remember it at the end and went back...my confidence is back and I celebrated by wasting most of the day in the fashion of taking a nap and buying ice cream.

Anyway, with all my complaining about nursing school, I am feeling pretty confident that it is in fact the right decision and that  it's where I am supposed to be.  And even though I feel often times like I would rather be having babies while my husband is in law school...its just not time yet.  In the meantime I have a lot to be grateful for, and in the end I will have the opportunity to care for people that could not only come in handy for money making purposes but also for some greater vaster purpose that I am yet to understand.

In the meantime we are being blessed left and right....here are some examples.
I wanted ice cream and not the cheapest kind so I went to target to buy some, and there was a two dollar coupon for the exact kind I wanted that someone had left in the freezer...so it became the cheapest kind IT WAS AWESOME...coupon directly from heaven and I am not being sarcastic we are being watched out for.
second, someone was getting rid of a mattress that was a million times nicer than our flimsy six inch thick mattress and gave it to us..for free. so now we have a fancy (real) mattress that is infinitely more comfortable.
third we got to house sit  again for one night and watch part of the olympics as well as make some extra money
fourth Paul actually got some on campus interviews, although getting an interview (for internships next summer) is step one...its enough to make me feel like...hey there is a plan, and its going to be ok.
Fifth our plants are doing really well
seventh my visiting teacher gave me a bag of homegrown vegetables
eigth...there is an 8, 9, 10, 11 and beyond but I should probably stop here and go to bed....with a heart bursting of gratitude (not supposed to be sarcastic)....

here's a little bit of vanity (pictures)

 on our way to the pool...florida is looking quite similar to malaysia (my mission)

 housesitting (if only that were our kitchen)...that carrot small as it  may be, was grown in a bucket (our garden)

 Paul bakes his first cake (that's our kitchen)

 I wax my own armpits...and those yellow flowers were begging for this sort of picture

when I was studying for my last test I was reading about the patho of asthma and state of asthma is called "status asthmaticus"  (sp) anyway it just sounded so harry potter that we had to make this sort of picture....so that is paul "staticus asthmaticus"ing me.

next up a list of what I am going to do over the break (10 days)