clinicals

today was my first day of clinicals....and it was pretty good, maybe even fun (some parts at least)
sometimes i loath what i have to do...im like why do i have to study when other girls i know are just having kids and not worrying about the future, but other times I am like wow this is actually pretty cool and I am learning so much and it making me pretty useful.  So...baby...you're just going to have to wait until nursing school, and short and sweet work experience is over, and the idea is that it is for your own good. But every time we talk about pregnancy or delivery or baby...it just sort of swells up inside me, why do I have to wait, but wait I will!
also I am going to brag, because there are a lot of things I am learning that I am not good at right now, but there is one thing that I am good at and perhaps it might even be my greatest talent, talking to random strangers that i have never met before and not be intimidated and relating them.  Yes, i know this is not humble, but I have a whole laundry list of what I need to improve on (listening to lung and heart sounds ahem) but i need to celebrate this little confidence, and be grateful for it.
also miracles happen once in a while....every month actually.
So, you know we are poor, really poor.  And the last bit of my summer (out of state) tuition was due last week, and I paid it and it was looking like summer survival was going to require private loans, which is something we are hoping to avoid, the money we are getting paid from house sitting is going to be just enough to pull us through the summer.  While, on the one hand fall will come and if we are not able to get in -state tuition it could end quite painfully, but it is nice to how each month extra money seems to come our way from extremely generous and kind sources and it truly makes a difference and does not go unnoticed and without thanks.  And next year, when I am a nurse and we can eat cereal and other types of expensive food, we might laugh at how crazy we were (e.g. paul is donating plasma right now) but truly we are seeing miracles every day...and are also intently praying for instate tuition. and that i pass alll three of my tests next week that would also be excellent :)